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avatar Valuable_Tax_8446 2 mon.ago

I was doing some decorating so I got out my step ladder.

I don't get on with my real ladder.

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funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Comparing symptoms

Two friends, doctors both, used to have a weekly lunch. They got into the habit of discussing cases in case they could learn something new from each other. At lunch, the first doctor said, "I had an unusual case today. A man came in with syphilis of the foot." "Mine was unusual too," said the second doctor. "I had a woman come in with athlete's vagina."

2. Two Uranium atoms were on a street corner.

3. If ignorance is bliss

Does that make stupidity Nirvana?

4. Today i learned that in order to open a zoo, you must have at least 4 pandas, 2 grizzlies, 3 black, 4 brown and 1 polar.

Apparently that’s the bear minimum

5. What does nasal sex involve?

Fuck knows.

6. Hours before a solar eclipse, spruce trees 'talk' to each other...

Basically, we are watching the famous 'wood wide web' in action!

7. I’ve noticed some redness and itching on my knee after I covered it in Jamaican chicken.

Turns out it was a knee jerk reaction.

8. which veggie has wings?

tomatowls 🍅🦉

9. I received an interesting telegram telling me what is used to slow down a plane landing on a carrier

It is an arresting cable

10. Did you hear that Julie Andrews recently ended her sponsorship agreement with Super Color brand Lipstick because they lowered their quality?

The most common online reviews say the new formula makes the lipstick crumble easily and for some reason gives people bad breath. When asked why she didn’t stick with the company, Andrews said, “Well... Super Color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis”

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